Page 42 - Discover Summer 2021

Tech Support CONTINUED

local person who could not hide behind a corporate • When we say “click”, since we didn’t say “right-
behemoth. They also appreciated the fact that they click”, it means “left-click”.
did not have to “press 1” for English, only to be
• Nothing ever “fixes itself”.
transferred to someone who really didn’t speak it.

• Please don’t waste time telling us that it worked
Those of us who are able to provide useful
really well until it stopped working really well. That
support have our own problems. Here is a list of the
stands to reason.
things that we wish people knew before they called
us: • When we tell you that your problem would take

hours to solve over the phone, it means that you
• Computers are stupid. They don’t actually think.
need to bring it in, or pay for a house call. It is not
• Microsoft will never call an invitation to spend
you. Trust me, it wasn’t the rest of the day
them. getting acquainted.

• That message on the I could go on, but you
screen does not mean get the idea. We’ve all
that the computer is heard the stories…
communicating with you. people mistaking their
It’s just something that CD-Rom drives for
the programmer told it to cup holders… people
put up on the screen. who, when asked what
kind of computer they
• Those messages are
have, the answer is, “A
always the same under the
black one.” … or the
same conditions. You are
lady who called tech
not the first person who
support because her
has seen them.
computer would not
• We tech people have turn on, and told the
seen all of those messages tech that she couldn’t
a gazillion times. see the back of her
computer because the
• Therefore, you do not
power had gone out.
need to read them to us verbatim, unless we ask you
to. This gave rise to what passes among us geeks
as witty repartee.
• PLEASE see above. We already know what they
say. “Ma’am, I’ve identified the source of your
problem… it’s between the keyboard and the chair…
• Please don’t tell us that “it” isn’t there. If we tell you
“
it’s there, it’s there.
“Sounds like an ‘eye-dee-ten-tee’ (ID10T) problem
• When we say “right-click” that means “click the
to me…
right mouse button”.

40 Discover Smith Mountain Lake SUMMER 2021