Discover Smith Mountain Lake
SUMMER 2016
7
6
I keep seeing a lot of “off the grid” and “mini-house” posts
on Facebook. I’m sure it’s true for all social media, but
Facebook is the only one that has sucked me into its whirling
vortex.
It’s amusing to see the romanticizing of those who live “off
the grid” by scrounging useful items from landfills and trash
heaps. From where do those useful items come? Don’t tell
anyone, but without the so-called “grid”, they wouldn’t
exist. If we all chose to live “off the grid”, where would all
of those commodities originate?
Heating one’s home with used motor oil seems a dandy
notion, until you realize that if we abandon motorized
vehicles, we also abandon the source of the used motor oil.
It’s better than dumping it somewhere, but it still requires
others to live on the grid in order for it to work.
Does that mean that I oppose “off the grid” living? No.This
country was built by people who lived “off the grid”, in the
truest sense of the word, because as it happens, there was no
grid.The pioneers who carved a life out of this land did so
by using what nature offered, aided by their own ingenuity
and survival instincts.
I recall having a deep discussion with my son,Alex, when
he was about 10 years old.At the time, he had determined
that he neither needed nor wanted an education.When I
asked how he planned to survive, he explained that he could
hunt and fish for food.Then I asked where he would live,
pointing out that land costs money, whether you rent or buy.
He countered with his notion to build a raft and live on the
lake. His plan fell apart when I reminded him that he’d need
to spend time on land if he expected to be able to satisfy his
basic needs.
I had to give him credit for stubbornness, if nothing else.
A similar source of amusement is the activist who protests
against “corporate greed”, which essentially boils down to
the desire to profit from one’s efforts.Those who would do
away with corporations ardently broadcast their opinions
courtesy of the largest corporations on the face of the
earth:Apple, IBM, Microsoft,Verizon,AT&T, Sprint,
Samsung, etc. It is the ultimate irony on display, as they
absorb themselves in their smart phones. Many of us can
still remember a time when people were smart, and phones
weren’t.
A lot of folks who pine for “off the grid” living seem to be
enamored of the mini-home concept, wherein a childless
or retired couple artfully collapses their entire lifestyle
within the confines of what seems to be an impossibly small
space. Or perhaps a family converts a utility building in the
backyard to a similarly diminutive dwelling for an aging
parent. In this case, euphemisms come in quite handily. It
sounds a lot better to say, “Darling Doll House for Mom”, as
opposed to “Let’s Stick Grandma in the Shed”.
Personally, I think it’s all a massive conspiracy to persuade
us to abandon the American Dream of single family home-
ownership, in favor of herding us all into the type of
oversized safety-deposit boxes that many Japanese citizens
call home.
I don’t necessarily oppose creative maximizing of living
space, but I draw the line at ignoring the need for personal
space. How many long nights will you have if your spouse
snores? If you need to change clothes when a visitor is
present, where do you go?What about the inevitability of
the moment when your housemate passes wind? Is there
room in one of those mini-dwellings to store a gas mask?
Where do you hide Christmas presents? Speaking of which,
I haven’t seen much in the way of storage space built into
your average garden-shed-turned-house. I know people who
have bigger clothes closets.
Now it would be fair to point out that it really isn’t
necessary for people to have clothes closets that large. I
suppose that a lot of this downsize thinking is a reaction
to the existence of what is loosely termed “McMansions”,
fancy upscale homes which boast generous amounts of living
space, and are often inhabited by just two people. For some,
I suppose that the length of a marriage may be directly
proportional to the amount of available space that either
spouse has, in which to be separated from the other without
leaving home.The irony is that in a home that large, there
would be no need to store gas masks.
I’m reminded of the old saying, “familiarity breeds
contempt”. I’m sure that it accounts for the uncomfortable
statistic that the prime suspect in most murders is usually
the victim’s spouse. In a more expanded sense, it’s easy to
see why there is more tranquility in a rural setting, and
more friction among people in an urban setting.The more
closely you pack people together, the less likely they are
to live in harmony. So here’s a twist: Move “off the grid”,
away from the population at large, and cram yourself into
an oversized MRI tube with your life partner. It’s the best of
both worlds.
Editor’s Note
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