Page 7 - Discover Winter 2021
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that this shiny new formula required special so I started cutting away some more of the
fasteners. I had been accustomed to using adjacent decking, which revealed a section of
galvanized steel screws, which they informed the joist that was severely rotted, over about a
me would react with the chemicals in the 4 foot span. Almost half of the width of this
magic new lumber and disintegrate. They joist crumbled in my fingers when I grabbed
pointed me toward a new, specially coated, onto it.
albeit more costly screw that would hold up
I silently thanked my architect for
well.
recommending two-by-twelves for joists. Had
So I dutifully paid the extra for the fancy I used something smaller, which would have
new lumber and its associated fancy new sufficed, I am certain that someone eventually
screws, because I had no intention of building would have taken a quick trip downstairs to
a deck that would start to rot and fall apart the concrete patio below.
after a few years. (Take all the time that you
Pulling up the rotted deck boards was
need here to finish laughing before continuing
something of a chore. In fact, it’s a back
to read on.)
breaking exercise. I had installed the original
As you might imagine, the boards boards with screws (you remember: the
continued to rot, even some of the expensive ones), so all I needed to do was to
replacement boards. It all came to a head after unscrew them, right? Well, those specially
Jo-Ann stepped on one, and her foot went coated screws rotted… not all the way
right through. She dutifully informed me that through, but just enough to make the heads
I had more work to do. break off when rotational force was applied.
This came on the heels of the construction In other cases, the screws held fast, to
of our new dock. The dock builder told us the point where the drill driver stripped the
that because of the poor quality of the “new” heads. I had to resort to hammer and crow
pressure treated lumber, he insisted on using bar to dislodge the boards. Inspection of the
composite decking. I had planned to build a boards seemed to indicate that the screws
stairway down to the dock, and decided to use had actually contributed to the rotting of the
the same stuff in its construction. This new wood itself.
composite decking did not disappoint, and I
So, thanks to some well-meaning folks
decided that it might be a good idea to replace
at the EPA, I have my work cut out for me.
all of my wooden deck boards on my storied
The only candle in all of this darkness seems
deck with the new composite.
to be that even after spending about $6000
It had become clear to me by this point on composite deck boards and stainless steel
that replacing original rotted boards a few screws, my new deck will still cost $8000 less
at a time was the rough equivalent of peeing than the tiny one that my builder wanted to
into the wind. I had not installed more than provide.
two rows of deck planks when my foot went
Somebody shoot me.
through yet another rotted board. A close
inspection revealed some rot on the joist,
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