suffering. The reality for “members”
is that the pain never lessens, and
never goes away. In the first year
after losing her son, Ginny had an
experience while kayaking with
her dog, when she was suddenly
overcome with emotion:
“
This sort of a grief had a life of
its own. Sometimes on anniversaries,
sometimes out of the blue, it would
come down like an avalanche, and
bury me under its weight. On
Drew’s first birthday after his death,
I found myself
without
words,
without joy, without
hope… usually; I
could write it out
of my soul, but not
that day.”
Friends
and
neighbors
just
don’t know what to
say; they are often
afraid to connect.
“
Members”
need
to help those who
would
provide
them comfort by
encouraging them
to reach out. Ginny recalls starting
a blog, in which she wrote:
“
This stuff isn’t catching… this
person has lost something that
meant a great deal. Don’t turn away
from her; she can’t take another loss”
We all have our ways of dealing
with those moments in which our
grief suddenly overwhelms us.
Ginny’s happens to be chocolate.
“
I still keep chocolate all over this
house,” she admits. “When I feel
myself going down, I start -- eating
chocolate. It helps for a moment,
but…”
Like so many of us, Ginny
encourages something that might
surprise you: Talking about Drew
and answering questions about
his life. “If there’s one thing we
club members know, it’s this:
it’s comforting to talk about our
children,” she explains. “We don’t
see them as gone; we haven’t written
them off in any way.We want to talk
about them; we don’t want people to
be uncomfortable with that.”
In so doing, she reveals a deep
connection with him, which may
help to explain the supernatural
elements of her story. “I invested
emotionally in Drew, all of his
life… because I thought he needed
the push; he needed the ‘extra’,” she
recalls. “The other two, they were
really pretty great… did what they
were supposed to… but with Drew
it was a huge investment.” This led
to the formation of a powerful bond,
in which music played an important
role, and which now often will
trigger the “connections” as well as
episodes of grief.
Although she had always felt a
certain sense of other-worldliness
for most of her life, Drew’s loss
seems to have catapulted her into
the paranormal awareness that
she chronicles in her book. Prior
interest in supernatural phenomena
had piqued her curiosity to the
point where she had begun to study
it, with a group of like-minded
friends. She believes
that this helped to
open her mind to
the possibility of
communication with
the spirit world.
This manifested
itself shortly after
Walt’s death, when
she began to notice
the familiar smell of
his cigarette smoke
in conjunction with
significant events.
When
others
noticed it, too, she
started taking it
more seriously. She felt Walt’s
presence as Drew lay dying, and
her communication with Drew
started immediately after his death.
She speaks matter-of-factly about
it, mostly because she isn’t really
concerned about credibility. She
doesn’t believe that she talks to
him; she knows that she does, with
powerful conviction. “You know,”
she insists, “and it doesn’t matter if
anyone else believes it. You know.”
Her life experience includes
having lived in several different
Beating Death...continued
parts of the world, with exposure to
a number of different cultures. Born
to English parents in Johannesburg,
SouthAfrica,she speakswitha lilting
Britannic accent that she describes
as a mixture of Colonial English,
the “mid-Atlantic” dialect, and
her parents’ “BBC British”, which
she describes as “very enunciated
English”. Her engaging personality
radiates out from sparkling eyes that
are framed by a warm, kindly face,
graced with ageless beauty.
Her belief system
is an amalgam of
several
different
cultural
and
religious influences.
She
believes
that our souls go
through life as an
educational process,
learning what we
need to learn to
make
ourselves
more
complete.
Reincarnation is a
part of the process
–
we go back to
learn the things
that we still need to
learn. This enables
the spirit to climb
higher in the layers
of the heavens.
Every soul has
guides, who assist you in choosing
what you need to learn. “If you don’t
do it right, they greet you with open
arms,” she assured me, and you
prepare for another go at it.
One interesting aspect of her post
mortem relationship with her son’s
spirit is that the interaction occurs
on different levels. Sometimes, he
comes to her in dreams.Other times,
he invades her consciousness when
she is awake. Occasionally, he will
give her signs. Sometimes, she will
ask for one, and he delivers. Other
times, they just appear when the
time seems right. Many of the signs
that she has received, she admits,
are subject to skepticism. Some
may be explained by coincidence,
others require some interpretation
to recognize. Readers may doubt,
but Ginny gives a few remarkable
examples in the book, which in
many cases had made believers out
of family members and friends.
I must admit that more than a few
times, I found my own credibility to
be stretched by some elements of
her story. I can promise you that she
believes it, and as I pointed out, she
doesn’t really worry about whether
or not anyone else believes it.
Spending time with Ginny Brock is
well worth it. She exudes a positive
spiritual energy that is uplifting
and inspiring. She’s a very talented
writer, and her story is a heartfelt,
and quite accurate, depiction of life
for “members of the club”.
I can’t speak for other members of
the club, but now I must confess that
her story touched me in every way.
I, too, have experienced unexplained
phenomena, and for now, I will keep
them to myself. I will admit that
there is an eerie similarity to our
stories… and toward the end of our
interview, she managed to take me
by surprise.
Our conversation
had evolved into
something of a
counseling session,
as she gave me her
insights with respect
to my son, Alex,
whom we lost two
days after his 19th
birthday. I told her
about the yin-yang
pendant that I always
wear in his memory.
It
symbolizes
balance, which was
at the core of most
of Alex’s spiritual
beliefs. At some
point, I told her
that I had a favorite
picture of Alex,
and before I could
describe it to her,
Ginny interrupted me to ask when
his birthday was. I answered, and
she blurted out, “Capricorn, sure-
footed”. The picture, which she had
not given me a chance to describe,
is of Alex balancing himself as he
walked across the top beam of a
swing set in a park.
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